Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Spitting on Hanoi Jane

Doc Farmer has some things to say about the recent incident where a Nam vet spit in Hanoi Jane's face. As for me, if Hanoi Jane was across the street on fire, I would not cross the street to piss on her. - Sailor

Spitting on Hanoi Jane
Written by Doc Farmer
Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Last week, you probably heard about an American Veteran of the Vietnam War who spat in Hanoi Jane Fonda's face at one of her book signings. The veteran, one Michael A. Smith of Kansas City, MO, apparently hocked a tobacco-laden loogie at the actress/fitness guru/traitor, and then ran off, only to be apprehended later by the local constabulary. Hanoi Jane declined to press charges. When asked why he had taken this action, Mr. Smith
reasoned, "she (Hanoi Jane) spit in our faces for 37 years. It was absolutely worth it. There are a lot of veterans who would love to do what I did."

Sorry, Mr. Smith, but I have to disagree.

Sure, Hanoi Jane is a squamulose, evil, self-centered, vulgar, money-grubbing, idiotic, treasonous b*tch who should be hanged in an electric chair in front of a firing squad. Except for the minds of the gilded (or is that gelded?) acting cesspool that is Hollyweird, and lib/dem/soc/commie apologists, this is an undeniable fact. She provided aid and comfort to an enemy of the United States during a time of war. She caused pain and suffering to our troops, both in the field and in the hellish POW camps. She broke the ONLY law described directly within our Constitution. And she did so with impunity.

That does not give Mr. Smith, or anybody else, however, the right to act in such a boorish
fashion. I don't care if it's tobacco juice or a custard cream pie, there are some things you just don't fire at somebody's face. No matter how much you feel that person may deserve it. No matter how much you disagree with her.

I do not condone Mr. Smith's actions, and I don't believe anybody else should either. Including Hanoi Jane. She did not act out of compassion; she acted so that she'd be the "good guy" in this instance. That's all that was, by the way - an act. And, as her cinematic history has proved, not a very good act either (see also: Barbarella).

Look, spitting in her ugly mug did nothing to correct the harm she caused. It didn't heal the wounds she created. All it did was give her the high moral ground. Which, considering who we're talking about, is an accomplishment of almost biblical proportions.

Does Hanoi Jane deserve a gob of phlegm in her face? No. What she deserves, and will never get thanks to our spineless Department of (No) Justice, is
a fair trial followed by a firing squad. Yes, she deserves the death penalty. It's that simple. She admitted her treason, the evidence is on film and audiotape, and the suffering she caused is well documented. She has earned six bullets in what passes for her heart, delivered by our judicial system. But thanks to the Tower of Jell-O that is our United States Government (from both sides of the political aisle, I might add), this walking turd in tights gets to hawk her putrid book, make non-apologies on national TV, and (Heaven help us all) is even now preparing sell that idiotic exercise tape she did a score of years ago on DVD.

You want to get back at Hanoi Jane, Mr. Smith? Or Hanoi John, or Beijing Bill, for that matter? Save your spittle for the nearest cuspidor, and get on the phone to your Congressman, your Senators, the Department of (No) Justice and the President and DEMAND they get off their fat, lazy butts and put that woman before the bench. Followed by a blindfold,
cigarette, and an early morning volley of gunfire.

That's what Hanoi Jane deserves.

It's also what America deserves.

About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest. Doc receives e-mail at

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