Thursday, August 05, 2004

Death of the IRS? Hallelujah!

Doc Farmer is at it again. This time getting really guttsy and taking on the IRS. Hey Doc, hope all those decimal points are in the right places and you do have all those receipts! - Sailor

What's up, Doc
Death of the IRS? Hallelujah!

Written by Doc Farmer
Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Living in the Middle East had one significant selling point--besides the weather, I mean. No taxes. No IRS over there. And its reach didn’t extend to me because I didn’t make enough money (the base was $75,000 before taxes were applied). It was bliss.

Coming back to America was a bit of a shock--besides the weather, I mean. Income tax, sales tax, tobacco tax, liquor tax, gasoline tax, thumb tax, etc. The rule of government seems to be, if it moves, tax it. If it doesn’t move, kick it and then tax it.

You don’t really appreciate how much of a chunk the government takes out of your paycheck until it stops taking it. When you live with it day by day, it’s like being nibbled to death by ducks. When you’ve been able to (legally!) avoid paying taxes, and then all of a sudden it starts again, those ducks take on pterodactyl-like proportions.

Now, however, it seems we may have a governmental reprieve from the Infernal Robbery Service. Dennis Hastert, the current Speaker of the House of Representatives, is coming out with a book today entitled ''Speaker: Lessons From Forty Years in Coaching and Politics.''

In that book, he proposes to abolish the IRS.

If ever there was a reason to consider somebody for apotheosis, this could come pretty darn close!

Imagine, if you will, your world without the IRS. Imagine a paycheck without the teeth marks. For that matter, imagine your rump without those dental dents come the 15th of April every year. No longer would we all have to endure those idiotic news stories with ''live'' coverage of local post offices or mail boxes. No longer would we have to suffer through reams of instructions that appear to be written by a psychotic dyslexic on crack. No longer would your gross be so grossly netted by bureaucratic bozos.

Forget all that world peace palaver. John Lennon should have tried to ''Imagine'' this instead. It almost boggles the mind.

Would the end of the IRS mean the end of all taxes? No, of course not. Hastert recommends a national sales tax. It’s how governments do this in the United Kingdom and Europe. It’s called a ''Value Added Tax'' or VAT. The tax is automatically calculated into the sales price, so the amount on the tag is the amount you pay at the checkout. The United Kingdom’s VAT is 17.5% (last time I checked, anyway). It covers most stuff you buy over there, although
some things are excluded--food, kids' clothing, etc.

This would be the most fair tax system there is. Why? Because EVERYBODY would pay it. The rich, the poor, the middle class. Everybody buys stuff--from a Big Mac to a 50-foot yacht. Put a 17.5% tax on everything (including, in my opinion, food, clothes, houses, etc.) and you’ll have a tax system that would not be a major burden on any group while generating a fair amount of income.

Right now, the poor pay no income taxes, and yet get the lion’s share of tax benefits. The rich pay the vast majority of income taxes, and get almost none of the benefits from the government. As we have seen over the past 60 years, income redistribution simply doesn’t work. If anything, it makes things much worse--for the poor, especially. However, a tax that everyone pays is a tax that is fair to everyone. And unfair at the same time, but that’s the nature of any tax when you come right down to it.

I’ll be glad to see the IRS buildings across this nation sold to the lowest bidder and turned into parking lots or shrines to all the rain forests destroyed to make the paper it wasted. I’d be happy to see all those tax accountants take off their eyeshades and stumble, uncertain, into the light of day. Maybe they could get jobs as auditors--however, they’d have to go to a doctor to get a personality transfusion first.

(Note to any accountants reading this – don’t bother writing to complain. I’ve worked with accountants for most of my career. There’s a reason we called the folks from Arthur Andersen ''Arthur's Androids.'' )

There’s another reason I’d be glad to see the IRS go the way of the dinosaur, the Edsel, and (thank heavens!) disco. The IRS is based upon a lie.

Remember the 16th Amendment? The little ''add-on'' that was shoved into the Constitution as a ''temporary'' form of raising funds for the government? Here’s what it says:

The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.

Congress passed the amendment on July 2, 1909. The House and Senate probably didn’t have the guts to pass such a rotten amendment on the anniversary of our nation’s birth. However, on February 3, 1913, it was ratified. Or so they say.

Problem is, there is evidence to suggest that it wasn’t ratified legally. Some states changed the wording and then voted on it (which you can’t do for ratification to be legal). Some didn’t vote on it properly.

According to Mr. Bill Benson, who has investigated the ratification process (, the four states listed below are among the 38 states that Philander Knox claimed ratification from.

Ø The Kentucky Senate voted upon the resolution, but rejected it by a vote of 9 in favor and 22 opposed.

Ø The Oklahoma Senate amended the language of the 16th Amendment to have a precisely opposite meaning.

Ø The California legislative assembly never recorded any vote upon any proposal to adopt the amendment proposed by Congress.

Ø The State of Minnesota sent nothing to the Secretary of State in Washington.

Yet Philander Knox (the Secretary of State at the time) declared the amendment ratified even though he knew it was a lie. Why? Simple. Money. Power. The same things that drive most politicians to lie, cheat, steal, and embezzle their ways through their careers.

It’s time, America, to put this 90-year-old lie to rest. It’s time for Congress to stop repeating the lie, to stop stealing from Americans through this illegal and immoral income tax system.

I hope you’ll all buy Mr. Hastert’s book, and demand that your representatives take the yoke off your neck by abolishing the IRS.


If you’re interested in buying a copy of this book, you can find it on at this address:

About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in Indiana. Doc receives e-mail at

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