Monday, July 12, 2004

Real Democratic Values? Whoopi!

My friend, Doc Farmer, really tears into those wonderfully tolerant liberals (much better then I did). You know them, the ones held that hate filled, vulgar fund raiser for the poodle and his puppy. The puppy's wife went out of her way to defend old Whoopi, it is on tape. Just a note here, this is one of the reasons the poodle did not have time for that briefing on the latest terror threat. Sort of tells you where his priorities are! I urge all of you to contact Slim Fast to let them know what you think of their spokeswoman. I did. - Sailor

Real Democratic Values? Whoopi!

Written by Doc Farmer
Monday, July 12, 2004

There was a bit of a ''do'' last week. You probably didn’t hear about it, though, if you are a slave to the alphabet news. A party, a fundraiser in Radio City Music Hall, to raise some extra money for the Kerry/Edwards campaign. Thursday was the night, and all the stars there just glittered for the paparazzi and the DNC hoi polloi. At least, those with enough dosh to rub shoulders with the high-and-mighty of the lib/dem/soc/commie set. Anti-capitalists at their finest, paying thousands (presumably with non-anti-capitalist earnings) to be entertained by a cavalcade of entertainers.

Well, for those of you who missed it, it was a boffo night for the lib/dem/soc/commies. At the end of the night, presidential-wannabe John Kerry said that every performer ''..conveyed to you the heart and soul of our country.'' He went further and said, ''This campaign will be a celebration of real American values.''

The heart and soul of our country, he said.

Folks, allow me to let you know what the lib/dem/soc/commies feel is the ''heart and soul'' of our country.

It’s Whoopi Goldberg, that famous television and movie-star comedian, coming across a stage with a wine bottle in one hand and a finger pointing toward her ample crotch in the other. She started her show by repeating the oft-said lie about Dubya and a certain blind musician--''Anybody who could wave to Stevie Wonder isn't fully there.'' Of course, that’s completely untrue (see for evidence) but since when have the lib/dem/soc/commies ever bothered with inconvenient things like the facts? Or honor, decency, and fairness, for that matter....

She went on, comparing the Commander in Chief of all United States Armed Forces to her, um, well, her [i]you know what[/i]. Whoopi apparently thought this comparison to be uproariously funny. So, apparently, did Kerry and his trusty sidekick, Edwards. However, Whoopi didn’t stop there. She chided Kerry's youthful ward, Johnny Edwards, and repeatedly called him ''kid'' even though he’s only nine years younger than his potential boss. Now, I wonder why she just didn’t call him ''boy'' and get really into the spirit of the night.

Whoopi also boasted that she hadn’t cleared her material with the DNC (a mere formality, I’m sure), but instead sent them a photocopy of her derrière with a big kiss mark applied.

There were other luminaries (or at least a bunch of dullards whose hatred of Dubya, of America, and of freedom itself, which counts as ''bright'' amongst most lib/dem/soc/commies) who spent the gala evening dissing the president. Sarah Jessica Parker, John Mellencamp, Chevy Chase, John Leguizamo, Paul Newman, Meryl Streep, Jon Bon Jovi, Mary J. Blige, and Wyclef Jean joined in the hate-fest. They all lent their support to the party, helping to raise a whopping $7.5 million. Or, as Teresa Heinz-Kerry might call it, pocket change. This should be of great assistance to the Chiraq/Raffarin ticket – oops, I mean Kerry/Edwards ticket. Same difference, actually....

Now, I object to the content of their speech. I object to the lies, the slanders, the obvious disrespect, even more so in a time of war. However, I also respect their right to speak, despite the fact that it involves such juvenile or hateful crap. Even so, some lib/dem/soc/commies have berated me by saying that I am somehow infringing on the constitutionally protected freedom of speech of these Hollyweird-types. That questioning these Brahmins of Baloney, merely speaking my own mind, is a part of a greater Vast Right Wing Conspiracy to silence dissent, tear up the Constitution, and create a new Fascist State. Considering that Fascism is actually a political construct of the lib/dem/soc/commies, and NOT the rep/cons, I do rather enjoy the irony of their rhetoric.

We are a nation where freedom still reigns supreme. But freedom is not license. One cannot yell ''Fire'' in a crowded movie house (or ''Movie'' in a crowded fire house) because it endangers lives. You can’t threaten the life of the president or vice president because it endangers lives as well as national security. You cannot openly lie or bear false witness against people because it harms reputations and ruins lives. You cannot undermine the nation or provide aid and comfort to an enemy during a time of war, for very obvious reasons (obvious to most, but not all of us, sadly). The lib/dem/soc/commies haven’t done the first or second. However, they have constantly and consistently lied about the president and this administration. Some have provided aid and comfort to the enemy. Those forms of speech are not constitutionally protected. And yet, the lib/dem/soc/commies act as if they are. That the mere objection to their speech itself is an attack on their rights, indeed all rights. It is the height of hubris.

Oddly enough, the lib/dem/soc/commies are being rather tight-lipped about the Bush-Bashing event of Thursday last. The news media have done little if anything to cover the shindig. In fact, it would appear that it did its best to cover up a number of things regarding the show, including the viewpoint of the running mate’s wife. ''A lot of people are going to be angry [at President Bush]--there's a lot to be angry about,'' she told a reporter in New York. ''It's a free country and people are going to express that anger.'' Somehow it would appear that this uncomfortable little viewpoint wasn’t something the DNC wanted vented far and wide. The story, it would appear, was spiked. So much for their own interpretation of ''freedom of speech,'' I suppose.

''Real American Values,'' John Kerry? Real American Values my foot!


By the way, you may not be aware that Whoopi Goldberg is actually a paid spokesperson for the folks at SlimFast. If you’d like to tell them your opinion of what you think of Whoopi, and inform them of what actually comprises ''the heart and soul of America'' - Contact Slim Fast. Keep it short and respectful, and let them know if you believe SlimFast should continue to employ Ms. Goldberg as its representative. Here’s what I wrote, as an example –

I've read the transcripts of Ms. Goldberg's standup routine for Messrs. Kerry and Edwards at a fundraiser last week. I am appalled that your company would choose such a spokesperson to represent you or your products. Her statements were crude, vulgar and obscene. Comparing a sitting president to a vagina is not, to many Americans, funny. Imagine if a comedian had made derogatory comments about FDR during World War II. The war we fight today is no less critical.

I am currently on a diet, and had considered investigating your product line to see if it would be compatible with a low-carb lifestyle. However, considering your choice of spokesperson, I will forego that investigation. I plan to tell all my friends and family (several of whom are overweight) to stop purchasing your products forthwith. Unless and until you drop Ms. Goldberg as a spokesperson, your products will not be welcome in my home.

Many thanks.

Doc Farmer


About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in Indiana. Doc receives e-mail at

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