2004 Democrat Convention Schedule

Thanks to my good friend, Missy, for sending this to the Sailor via e-mail!


2004 Democrat Convention Schedule

Day One:
6:00 PM Opening flag burning ceremony
6:10 PM Opening secular remarks in lieu of prayer by Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
6:20 PM Anti-war concert by Barbara Streisand
6:40 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
6:45 PM Seating of the delegates from Cuba and China
7:00 PM Tribute theme to France
7:10 PM Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund
7:25 PM Tribute Theme to Germany
7:35 PM Seminar on uses for aborted fetuses by Dr. Mengela
7:45 PM Anti-war rally moderated by Michael Moore
8:25 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:30 PM Terrorist appeasement workshop
9:00 PM Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)
9:15 PM Tribute to the Iraqi insurgency by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
9:30 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:40 PM Re-enactment of the famous medal toss by John Kerry
9:50 PM Cameo appearance by Howard Dean ("Yeeeeeearrrrg!")
10:00 PM Live abortion demonstration by NARAL
10:30 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:40 PM Pledge of allegiance to the UN
10:45 PM Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, trans-gendered and same
sex)
11:00 PM Keynote address - Supporting our soldiers by voting against pay
raises, supplies & weapons
11:25 PM Maximizing welfare workshop
11:45 PM Free Saddam rally
12:15 AM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:25 AM Acceptance Speech by John Kerry
1:30 AM Hillary accepts a ride home from Ted Kennedy
(Okay, this last one is not on the official program, but a guy can dream
can't he?)